What's A Pissant?

Wikipedia defines ‘Pissant’ as a type of Formica (ant) of the subfamily Formicinae, including species commonly known as ‘wood ants, mound ants, thatching ants, field ants and Pissants’.

I'm seventy-three years old and I just found this out. For the last seventy years, I thought I was a pissant. That’s what my momma used to call me.  I can still hear her saying, “Stop running from me, you little pissant!”  And with that she would start waddling at warp speed with switch in hand.  Being only six years old, I couldn’t run and laugh at the same time, and inevitably I would be caught, given a switching and once more reminded, I was a little pissant.

Even though at the time I had no clue what a pissant was, I kind of figured, by the beads of sweat on my mother’s brow, the tone in her voice and the fire in her eyes, pissant was not an endearing distinction. As years passed, I grew to embrace my new title, partly because I could run faster and my mother got slower. I think I was in college before I finally out-grew, ‘pissant’ and began being called Jeff. Even then, when the tone in her voice changed and she displayed those fiery eyes, I was given titles, such as, “You little piece of sh*t, or You little son of a bit*ch!”  Which I never could rationalize, because I figured that was a little self-deprecating for her to say.

It all started when I was six years old.  Our family was sitting around the small dinette table at dinner for supper. With the four us (my sister was yet to be born), our plates, silverware, napkins and glasses in wait, my mother began spooning the spaghetti onto our plates. Toasted garlic bread, sliced to perfection and portioned pl carefully placed on each bread plate.  With tea glass in hand, we held our glasses out, ready to be filled with her famous sweet tea.  As she carefully poured each waiting glass, I watched and the little pissant I was had an idea.  I reached my waiting glass across the table holding it steady as she carefully poured. About half-way, I yanked the glass from beneath the pitcher and sweet tea poured across the table. I laughed loud, expecting my brother and father to join, but no…….the look on all their faces said it all……… “YOU LITTLE PISSANT!” She yelled and commenced to pour the rest of the tea pitcher over my head.  Only then did my brother, my father and my dear mother begin to laugh. 

I’m glad after seventy years to have come to the realization that the term pissant was not really that disparaging.  Even though I was mischievous and some would say a handful, my mother did love me, and I loved her.  We had years of long talks, slow walks, and heartfelt moments together.  Those memories I will cherish till the day I die, when I hope this little pissant will see her again in heaven.